My Fave Online Dating Sites/Apps

So many to choose from - why not jump in and give it a try?

I know from my conversations with friends and personal experience that meeting a partner through the internet can be a major time suck and significant financial investment. Subscriptions can range from £10/month upwards with no guarantee of meeting your ideal partner. About twenty years ago, I had an idea to start my own dating site that would operate on a credit system. Users would pay a small fee (around 50p) to contact someone, but if the recipient replied, further communication would be free.

I thought this might encourage users to be more selective in their choices, as they would be more inclined to actually read profiles carefully before reaching out, which I have found doesn't always happen, especially in the current "swipe left/right" era. Unfortunately, the cost of developing this idea became prohibitive and the thought was shelved.

Subscription-based dating sites tend to encourage men to contact as many women as possible, with the hope that a minority will respond. Sites are invested in making sure you come back and keep paying the monthly cost. The end result is in women feeling overwhelmed by messages, although I have discovered that this issue has lessened for me since turning 60, as the level of interest has significantly decreased. Perhaps the algorithms don’t consider us oldies as being desirable!

In my experience, finding a partner online is a gamble; sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. It’s a numbers game and I’ve been most successful when I’ve devoted the time and energy to it. One site is not necessarily better than the other even if their marketing messages may make them appear so. I met a partner on Tinder, which my son initially told me was only for casual hookups. He later told me that he was looking for a hook-up, having never had one and, as it turned out, he actually wanted a relationship. I have also met long-term partners on swinging sites, some of whom even became friends. I have tried most of the dating sites out there, but I've currently paused my membership to all of them because I have a regular weekend date.

I've found that the best chance of meeting someone is often when you first sign up and are a new user on the platform. I believe it's better not to stay on any one site for too long, and instead rotate between different sites every few weeks, as this can make you more visible to potential matches. As the saying goes, "no one wants to buy the car that's been sitting on the lot too long." I suspect dating sites also make new users more visible to others.

I also have the unusual opinion that it's easier for women to find men on sites primarily used for sex rather than those focused on deeper relationships. I know many people, some now married, who met in this way, and I find that men are more upfront about their intentions (and their relationship status) when they believe women are only seeking something casual. I’d rather know someone was married or in a relationship from the outset rather than discover this vital information accidentally.

I completely understand that some women may be hesitant to jump into bed with someone they barely know, and that's a perfectly valid perspective. No one is suggesting that you have sex on a first date. It's perfectly acceptable to meet for a coffee or dinner as you would on any other dating site, even if the expected outcome is that, at some point, you'll engage in sexual activity. The decision is entirely up to you.

Generally speaking, I tend to avoid paying for dating sites because there are enough free ones that I feel I shouldn’t have to. Here's a quick rundown of some I've used: